Field trip days were special, and Miss Parsnip always looked ready to lead an army into battle. Today she was dressed in khaki from head to toe, and the pockets in her mesh vest overflowed with tissues, cough drops, and other important provisions.<\/p>\n
\u201cBoys and girls,\u201d began Miss Parsnip enthusiastically, \u201cAs you know Crunch & Barley is one of the largest companies in Elbow Harbor, and many of your parents work there. Who can tell me what product Crunch & Barley is best known for?\u201d<\/p>\n
Judy Fipple\u2019s hand shot straight up and she cried \u201cooh ooh ooh!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe she ate too much of it,\u201d whispered Fay to Jan.<\/p>\n
\u201cJolly Rogers Cereal!\u201d shouted Judy Fipple.<\/p>\n
\u201cMake that new and improved Jolly Rogers Cereal,\u201d added Fay.<\/p>\n
\u201cA pirate-themed cereal,\u201d said Miss Parsnip nodding. \u201cElbow Harbor has always been notorious for its pirate legends. Why it\u2019s a well-known story in my own family, that my great-great-great Auntie Bonny Patty Parsnip was a buccaneer who sailed from this very port! So today\u2019s field trip groups will all have swashbuckling names! As I call the groups, would you please stand together?\u201d<\/p>\n
Anyone who\u2019s ever been grouped for field trips knows that there are good groups, and there are bad groups. Fay was hoping earnestly for a good group, though, without her pirate coin she was afraid luck might not be with her.<\/p>\n
Miss Parsnip cleared her throat. \u201cIn Mr. Hootsman\u2019s group, known for today as the Cutthroats, is of course Barnaby. And also, Judy Fipple, Donny Bing, and Fay LaFarge.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fay\u2019s heart did a flip and a nose-dive. There was nothing good about this. Nothing at all.\u00a0 Disgustingly perfect Judy Fipple, boring Donny Bing,…and the horrific Barnaby Hootsman. The only slight, tiny glimmer of a bright spot was that she would be a Cutthroat. She didn\u2019t listen to the rest of the groups as they were called out. She was too busy trying to make sure she stayed on the other side of Donny Bing from Barnaby. Better to be bored to death than to suffer unearthly torment.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, Fay,\u201d said Mr. Hootsman, his big pumpkin face grinning, \u201cWhat\u2019s your pop do over there at the cereal plant?\u201d<\/p>\n
Barnaby grinned too, looking like a miniature version of his dad.
\n\u201cHe makes flavors!\u201d said Barnaby, \u201cLike Booger Banana, and Snotty Seaweed!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cHey,\u201d said Mr. Hootsman, \u201cyou\u2019re funny like your old pop, aren\u2019t ya?\u201d<\/p>\n
\nBarnaby grinned even more grotesquely.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cAtta\u2019baby,\u201d said Mr. Hootsman proudly.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cHe\u2019s a chemist,\u201d stated Fay, thinking about what she might be forced to do to Barnaby if his dad weren\u2019t standing there.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cWell,\u201d said Judy Fipple. \u201cThat\u2019s nice, but my mother is a state senator and my father runs the best flower shop in Elbow Harbor, Fipple Floral.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cDo they sell soup?\u201d asked Donny Bing.<\/p>\n
\nJudy wrinkled her nose and looked annoyed. \u201cIt\u2019s a flower shop,\u201d she said, \u201cthey sell flowers.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u201cOh,\u201d said Donny, \u201cwell, I really like soup. I try to think of a new soup idea every day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nFay tried not to grit her teeth out loud. I will get through this field trip, she said to herself. I am a Cutthroat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Field trip days were special, and Miss Parsnip always looked ready to lead an army into battle. Today she was dressed in khaki from head to toe, and the pockets in her mesh vest overflowed with tissues, cough drops, and other important provisions. \u201cBoys and girls,\u201d began Miss Parsnip enthusiastically, \u201cAs you know Crunch & […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=87"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":89,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87\/revisions\/89"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=87"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=87"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=87"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}