Fay headed for school, late as usual, not feeling at all sure what good it might do her to have a cereal box coin in her pocket, but she was certain it must mean good luck. So she was surprised when her teacher, Miss Parsnip, announced that tomorrow\u2019s field trip to the Briny Harbor Aquarium (fun) would be postponed, and they would instead visit the Crunch & Barley Breakfast Factory (boring).<\/p>\n
But she wasn\u2019t at all surprised, while making macaroni mosaics in art class, when Barnaby Hootsman grabbed one of her noodles, stuck it in his nose, then tossed it back into the pile.<\/p>\n
So the day hadn\u2019t started lucky, but there must be something good about having a cereal box coin that your sister and brother didn\u2019t get. During a group project of making a cell model out of jelly beans, she showed the coin to Jan and Franny.<\/p>\n
\u201cSpooky picture,\u201d said Jan with a shudder.<\/p>\n
\u201cWeird words,\u201d added Franny. \u201cWhy isn\u2019t it round? Who smashed it up?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not smashed,\u201d said Fay, \u201cit\u2019s a pirate coin. It came out of the Cinnamon Rogers. It\u2019s not supposed to be round.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan you spend it?\u201d asked Jan. \u201cI\u2019m saving up for a Dishy Boys cd.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan you flip it?\u201d yelled Barnaby Hootsman, snatching the coin out of Franny\u2019s hand and tossing it in the air.<\/p>\n
What happened next was fast and messy, but it ended with Barnaby on his back, Fay tripping over him, and the coin in Miss Parsnips blazer pocket.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know,\u201d said Miss Parsnip with a sigh, \u201cGroup projects would be so much more productive if we could just focus on our work.\u201d<\/p>\n
At the end of the day, if Miss Parsnip hadn\u2019t been busy showing Judy Fipple how to clean the fish tank, Fay might have been able to ask for her coin back. Instead, by the time she\u2019d listened to Judy Fipple ask Miss Parsnip about eighty-nine show-offy questions, Skipper appeared at the classroom door waiting to be walked home.<\/p>\n
So it was in a very grumpy, coinless mood that Fay walked through the front door that afternoon.<\/p>\n
At dinner, Mr. LaFarge arranged a handful of tiny vials next to the breadbasket.<\/p>\n
\u201cYuck!\u201d protested Tilly. \u201cI hate when you bring work home with you! You\u2019re going to make us taste?\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr. LaFarge seemed apologetic. \u201cThe Board of Directors wants me to create an adult cereal, like Barnyard Morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBarnyard Morning tastes like a stack of poopy hay,\u201d said Fay.<\/p>\n
\u201cPooey hay!\u201d squealed Lynette.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut adults seem to love its nutty richness,\u201d said Mr. LaFarge with a shrug. He held out a dropper from one of his vials. \u201cTry this Cora.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mrs. LaFarge stuck out her tongue, and Mr. LaFarge gave her a drop.<\/p>\n
\u201cTastes…like a tree,\u201d said Mrs. LaFarge with a slight wince. \u201cTastes like I bit into a tree.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh…no, wrong one,\u201d said Mr. LaFarge shuffling his vials around. \u201cThat\u2019s not the flavor I meant to give you…here Fay, you try this one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to try one,\u201d answered Fay. \u201cI always get the ones that taste like doggy doo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFay,\u201d said Mrs. LaFarge, \u201cthat\u2019s not constructive criticism. And if you\u2019re that fond of the subject of doodoo, you can just take Lynette upstairs and change her into a clean diaper.\u201d<\/p>\n
A protest almost popped out of Fay\u2019s mouth until she caught her father\u2019s stare. He was on the verge of making a speech. Fay hated speeches. She pulled Lynette out of the high chair and headed up the stairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Pay, go \u2018way Pay,\u201d protested Lynette as Fay laid the toddler down for a change of pants. First, there was the matter of the jar of pureed squash clutched tightly in Lynette\u2019s fist. Fay pried it from the toddler\u2019s grip and dropped it in her sweater pocket. And luckily, the soiled diaper was merely damp.<\/p>\n
There was a bright side to today, thought Fay. At least I missed the taste testing session.<\/p>\n
She absentmindedly tucked the rolled up diaper into her other sweater pocket, hoping she hadn\u2019t missed dessert.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Fay headed for school, late as usual, not feeling at all sure what good it might do her to have a cereal box coin in her pocket, but she was certain it must mean good luck. So she was surprised when her teacher, Miss Parsnip, announced that tomorrow\u2019s field trip to the Briny Harbor Aquarium […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=67"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":70,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions\/70"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=67"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=67"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=67"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}