Things were looking ugly at the Crunch & Barley Breakfast Factory as Lyle LaFarge attempted to slip into his flavor design laboratory quietly and unnoticed. Instead, he slipped quietly and accidentally into the Board of Directors who were having a heated discussion in the corridor.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cOur stockholders are cranky!\u201d screamed Mrs. Pink, ferociously squeezing a jelly-filled donut which gushed jelly at Lyle LaFarge’s name badge.<\/p>\n
\n\u201cWe’re losing customers to Major Oats and that ‘Barnyard Morning Mix,’\u201d<\/em> moaned Mr. Brown, glumly splashing his coffee on the hapless chemist.<\/p>\n \nMr. Green nodded savagely. \u201cEveryone loves ‘Barnyard Morning.’<\/em> Especially the country fig flavor.\u201d He gave his fist a furious shake, flinging bits of half-eaten cruller at LaFarge’s head.<\/p>\n \n\u201cNo,\u201d said Mrs. Pink. \u201cWe’re not losing customers. In fact, sales are skyrocketing since we hired LaFarge, but we might<\/em> lose customers if we don’t start selling a healthy cereal, like Major Oats!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cYou seem angry,\u201d said LaFarge as he tried to squeeze by, shielding himself with his briefcase.<\/p>\n \n\u201cOf course we’re angry!\u201d shouted Mrs. Pink. \u201cWe’re the Board of Directors! It’s our job to be angry when the company might be on the verge of bankruptcy!\u201d<\/p>\n \nLaFarge cleared his throat nervously. \u201cAccording to the profits chart,\u201d he said, peeking over Mr. Green’s shoulder, \u201cthe company is doing very well.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cBut what if we’re not?\u201d screeched Mr. Green. \u201cWhat if it doesn’t keep up? What if the public only wants healthy food?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cLike Barnyard Morning,\u201d added Mr. Brown.<\/p>\n \nLaFarge tried to sound reassuring. \u201cAll the tasters loved our new Cinnamon Rogers,\u201d he said. \u201cWe can hardly make enough of it!\u201d<\/p>\n \nMrs. Pink scowled. \u201cKids’ stuff!\u201d she said with a huff. \u201cWe can’t keep Crunch & Barley alive on kids’ stuff!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat Crunch & Barley needs,\u201d snarled Mr. Green, \u201cis something healthy!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cSomething grown-up,\u201d added Mrs. Pink.<\/p>\n \n\u201cSomething tasty,\u201d mumbled Mr. Brown.<\/p>\n \n\u201cLAFAR-R-R-R-R-R-RGE!\u201d bellowed a deep and scratchy voice from around the corner.<\/p>\n \nLyle LaFarge flinched at the sound of that bellow. His boss’s bellow. His boss, the man at the helm of Crunch & Barley, made him nervous, but at the moment anything seemed preferable to another round of donuts. Nodding briskly at the Board of Directors, LaFarge ducked around the corner.<\/p>\n \nIt’s hard to say exactly what it was about Mr. Arg that made LaFarge nervous. Certainly it had to do with the way the man’s knee-high leather boots pounded the floor as he stomped about the factory. Or maybe the scruffy straw-yellow hair running into scruffier straw-yellow whiskers which had possibly never seen a comb. It wasn’t the gold tooth; that didn’t bother LaFarge. But there was something about his boss’s right eye, when it fixed on him in an inquisitive glare, that made him feel like a bug on a pin.<\/p>\n \n\u201cGood morning, sir,\u201d said LaFarge, fiddling with the loose handle on the water cooler so he could look down instead of at Mr. Arg.<\/p>\n \nMr. Arg stuck his hand into his coat pocket and jingled some coins. \n\u201cSir,\u201d began LaFarge nervously, \u201cthe Board of Directors feels that we need to introduce something new…something that adults will like.\u201d<\/p>\n \nMr. Arg’s right eye seemed to gleam with raw intensity. LaFarge winced.<\/p>\n \n\u201cLet’s take a walk, LaFarge,\u201d said Mr. Arg, doing nothing more than pointing a pen at LaFarge’s belly, but as LaFarge walked through a doorway into the cavernous production room he had a sinking sense that he was walking the plank at dagger-point.<\/p>\n \nMr. Arg motioned LaFarge onto a metal platform, with steps leading down to the cereal packaging plant. Below them equipment hummed and workers scuttled here and there checking gauges and flipping switches.<\/p>\n \n\u201cAnd what,\u201d began Mr. Arg in a voice too chillingly polite for LaFarge’s comfort, \u201cis wrong, if I may be so nosy, with Jolly Rogers?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cNo offense sir,\u201d replied LaFarge warily, \u201cbut the Board feels that adults prefer healthful cereals, such as Barnyard Morning.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cGoose food!\u201d spat Mr. Arg. \u201cHorse vittles! And who says Jolly Rogers ain’t healthful? It’s even got that vittleman…er…vitterman…er, what’s that stuff they got in limes?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cVitamin C, sir,\u201d said LaFarge.<\/p>\n \n\u201cRightio!\u201d crowed Mr. Arg. \u201cViterman Sea! Yer crew won’t be gettin’ scurvy on Jolly Rogers!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cPerhaps not, sir,\u201d said LaFarge shuddering slightly, \u201cbut perhaps you should talk to the Board yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cPantywaists and floozies!\u201d shouted Mr. Arg. \u201cGot buttercups for brains, everyone of ’em! If it weren’t fer that law what says I gotta have ’em, they’d all be swimmin with the sharks! Grown-up cereal…bah! Last year when they handed me this ship Jolly Rogers was good enough\u2026so it’s good enough now! Anyways me men thinks your new Jolly Rogers are better than their granny’s Sunday supper.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cYour men Mr. Arg?\u201d asked LaFarge.<\/p>\n \nMr. Arg’s right eye narrowed, and glared all the more fiercely. \u201cDon’t be askin’ me about me men LaFarge.\u201d He began to mutter to himself. \u201cTalk to the Board…I’ll talk to the Board…pantywaists and buttercups…\u201d<\/p>\n \nMr. Arg turned, gave his coins a decisive shake, and promptly split a hole in his coat pocket. A jackpot of coins and other objects clattered across the metal catwalk in all directions.<\/p>\n \n\u201cFer the love of Neptune!\u201d cried Mr. Arg. \u201cThat’s the second time this week me pockets have split!\u201d<\/p>\n \nLaFarge scrambled to collect the bouncing money and return it to his fuming boss.<\/p>\n \n\u201cGots to get me a new jacket…and gots to make me special tunnel<\/em>…the men’ll be gettin’ restless,\u201d muttered Mr. Arg as he shoveled the treasure into another pocket.<\/p>\n \n\u201cI beg your pardon sir?\u201d said LaFarge, handing over the last handful of coins.<\/p>\n \nMr. Arg narrowed his gaze to a withering glare. \u201cNothin’ LaFarge. I didn’t say nothin’.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Things were looking ugly at the Crunch & Barley Breakfast Factory as Lyle LaFarge attempted to slip into his flavor design laboratory quietly and unnoticed. Instead, he slipped quietly and accidentally into the Board of Directors who were having a heated discussion in the corridor. \u201cOur stockholders are cranky!\u201d screamed Mrs. Pink, ferociously squeezing a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=48"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":58,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions\/58"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=48"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=48"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=48"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\u201cAre you ready for this LaFar-r-r-r-ge?\u201d he asked. \u201cLast month it was a plastic spyglass…but guess what we’re puttin’ in this month? A game in every box of Jolly Rogers and Cinnamon Rogers…a game I made up meself! It won’t just be the small fry wantin’ that, will it?\u201d Mr. Arg gave a throaty chuckle, then raised an eyebrow at LaFarge who, in order to show good manners, nodded dumbly.<\/p>\n