Hortensia scowled suspiciously at the now-open circular glass compartment.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cThis can\u2019t be the only way in,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cIt\u2019s the only way they\u2019re offering us,\u201d replied Bea. She took Hortensia by the hand and pulled her into the module. \u201cFeels sort of like being in a French press coffeepot, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cI like tea,\u201d said Hortensia nervously, as the door to the compartment slid shut and the module descended with a whoosh, like the pneumatic money tube at a bank drive-through.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cPlease hold the handrail,\u201d<\/em> instructed the invisible person. Bea and Hortensia scrambled to stay on their feet.<\/p>\n \n\tSoon the module stopped descending and glided smoothly sideways through a dark and indistinguishable tunnel, until it entered what appeared to be an outer cylindrical plexiglass tube. Then it went up.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cBlast off,\u201d said Bea, as they rose what must have been four stories higher. Through the double layer of window they could see numerous people scuttling through a factory of enormous and complex machinery. The employees all wore koo-bar-green lab coats, and many seemed to have surprisingly sumptuous amounts of hair wadded into hairnets, or tucked behind green baseball caps.<\/p>\n \n\tAt some impossible to guess level above, the module stopped, and with a noise like a deflating tire, opened its sliding door in front of Bea and Hortensia.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cVisitors please exit the module,\u201d<\/em> insisted the voice.<\/p>\n \n\tBea and Hortensia exited. They\u2019d barely taken a second glance at the lobby where they were now standing when a short, stout man with a clipboard appeared and eye-balled Hortensia.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHortensia Flannery, I presume?\u201d he barked.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cYes…\u201d Hortensia managed before the man hustled her away from the area where they now stood, and down a corridor to the left. Bea caught a glimpse of another human-sized Bean-man statue in front of a small lounge area as she scrambled along behind, doing her best to be unobtrusive.<\/p>\n \n\tBea had expected a company that manufactured any sort of food\u2014even koo-bars\u2014to be awash in fresh oven-baked aromas. But here in the heart of Bean-Tek Industries, the only scent was something odd and unidentifiable which reminded her of an old cardboard box.<\/p>\n \n\tThe man with the clipboard led them brusquely to the end of the corridor, which opened into a space where a primly elegant receptionist\u2019s desk sat. A large bowl of bite-sized koo-bars was positioned invitingly at the front of the desk.<\/p>\n \n\tThe elegant receptionist smiled, and said \u201cAh yes. I will notify Mr. Scalmo.\u201d <\/p>\n \n\tShe pushed a button on her handset. \u201cMr. Scalmo? Miss Flannery. Of course.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tA door to the right of the receptionist\u2019s desk opened abruptly, and a bald man stepped jauntily into the reception area.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cCome in! Come in please!\u201d he urged, holding out a hand to shake. Hortensia grasped his hand briefly and, at his gesture, followed him into his office. Bea scurried in behind, catching what she took to be a slight, but fleeting, scowl on Scalmo\u2019s face.<\/p>\n \n\tBut as he seated himself behind his enormous desk, he looked nothing but friendly. Something about his face rang a bell with Bea, but she couldn\u2019t think why. The pointy nose and pointy chin seemed very familiar, but the pointy bald head was new.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cSo,\u201d began Hiram Scalmo. \u201cMiss Flannery. Let\u2019s talk about this fascinating species of plant you\u2019re working with.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cYes let\u2019s,\u201d replied Hortensia without hesitation. \u201cI have reason to believe that it\u2019s unsafe for food use, and that\u2019s what I\u2019ve come to discuss.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cUnsafe?\u201d rebutted Scalmo with a huge grin. \u201cWhy it\u2019s a natural tropical plant! Full of vitamins and anti-oxidants! And people love it!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cTropical montane,”<\/em> Hortensia corrected. “And people are addicted<\/em> to it,\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cBut you probably knew that,\u201d added Bea.<\/p>\n \n\tThis time Scalmo ignored Bea entirely, and leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his neck and his elbows out.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWell, well…\u201d he said, as brightly as ever. \u201cThere are, as we both know, many ways to conduct research and many hypotheses to be formed. Would you care for a cold drink? I can buzz Miss Bevins.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tHortensia shook her head. Bea continued to be ignored.<\/p>\n \n\tScalmo continued. \u201cBean-Tek Industries is very interested in supporting your work with the koohoo plant. Grant money, you know…to the tune of twenty or thirty-thousand dollars…yours for the asking!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tBea couldn\u2019t disguise her surprise at the sum of money being dangled, and looked at Hortensia for a reaction. But Hortensia just shook her head.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cI\u2019m afraid there\u2019d be a conflict of interest,\u201d she replied. \u201cMy lab mice are showing some unexpected reactions to the plant, and I\u2019ll have to report my findings.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWings,\u201d added Bea. \u201cMice with wings.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cOh, I see,\u201d said Scalmo. \u201cBut what if you…let\u2019s say…approach your research from another angle? Let\u2019s say, for example…you only test koohoo on bald<\/em> people? Or…maybe, only on bats!<\/em> You know, something that already has<\/em> wings, or someone who needs<\/em> hair? What a public service!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cChildren are eating koohoo, Mr. Scalmo,\u201d said Hortensia calmly. \u201cAs a scientist, I have an obligation to protect those children.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cChildren?\u201d<\/em> objected Scalmo. \u201cWhat about money?<\/em> What about your obligation to yourself?<\/em> You\u2019re a clever young lady…you know research can prove anything you want it to!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cSounds tempting Hort,\u201d interjected Bea. \u201cLie in your reports, get rich! What\u2019s not to like?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMr. Scalmo,\u201d said Hortensia. \u201cI won\u2019t falsify my results.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cFine then,\u201d said Scalmo, with an injured sniff that merely intensified Bea\u2019s feeling that she knew him.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cDo without a grant. Your call. By the way,\u201d Scalmo continued, as Hortensia and Bea stood to leave. \u201cThe scholarship grants at your school are coming up for review soon. It would be a shame if all those smart kids lost their funding, wouldn\u2019t it? And your house? Supplied by grant money too, as I understand it?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThat money comes from the Frostly endowment,\u201d said Hortensia. \u201cBean-Tek has nothing to do with the University\u2019s funds from Mervin Frostly.”<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThanks Mervin Frostly,\u201d said Bea.<\/p>\n \n\tScalmo harumphed, then sniffed again. \u201cWell then,\u201d he said, \u201cperhaps not. But do keep me in mind, just in case your usual funding falls through. You know where to find me.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/p>\n \tBea and Hortensia hurried to the tubular module and, this time, stepped in without hesitation when the compartment door whooshed open. The last thing Bea heard before the door hissed closed was the clicking of high heels, and the last thing she smelled was a wafting hint of cloves.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n \tAs Bea entered the third floor corridor of the Mervin Frostly Science Building, with Hortensia right behind her, the elevator dinged, and two graduate students hustled out and around the corner.<\/p>\n \n\tBut it was the ding that settled the question which had been rummaging around in her brain.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHort!\u201d she said. \u201cI know where we\u2019ve seen Hiram Scalmo before!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tBut before Bea could elaborate, or Hortensia could reply, a grating squeal of metal on tile drew their attention to the open botany lab doorway. On his back and duct-taped to an overturned chair, Miles Oakenshaw was slowly scooching into the hallway.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201coo-a-mmmph!\u201d said Miles to Hortensia and Bea, as he heaved his chair another inch.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cOh dear,\u201d said Hortensia.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWhat did you say?\u201d asked Bea. She pulled off the strip of duct tape that was covering Miles\u2019 mouth. \u201cTry again.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cOw,\u201d said Miles. \u201cI said, they took the plants!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWho took the plants?\u201d demanded Bea.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAnd the paperwork,\u201d added Miles. \u201cThat stack of research you gave me? They also took that.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cOkay, don\u2019t worry,\u201d said Hortensia reassuringly as she began to unwind the duct tape binding Miles\u2019 hands. \u201cI\u2019ve backed-up the documents, so no problem there, and I repotted offshoots from the seedlings this morning. Over here.\u201d She abandoned Miles and inspected a tray of smaller plants in the window. \u201cApparently they didn\u2019t notice these.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWho\u2019s this they,<\/em> anyway?\u201d said Bea. She rummaged through a drawer for a pair of scissors, then began to cut Miles out of the chair.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cBig people,\u201d said Miles. He shook each limb as Bea untaped it, as if reassuring himself they all worked. \u201cBig guys dressed like air-conditioner technicians.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAir-conditioner technicians would have no use for botanical research,\u201d mused Hortensia. \u201cThough with all the compulsive eating of koo-bars these days, I can see why someone might snatch the plants.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWell, they weren\u2019t air-conditioner guys,\u201d said Bea. \u201cThey were Hiram Scalmo guys.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cScalmo?\u201d said Hortensia. \u201cI mean, he\u2019s creepy, and he\u2019s certainly not an honest person, but…\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cIt\u2019s Scalmo,\u201d insisted Bea. \u201cThink about it. He wants you to botch your research on purpose, he\u2019s trying to bribe you with money, and…he already tried to kill the plants.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHe did?\u201d said Hortensia and Miles in unison.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cCharlie Friendly,\u201d said Bea. \u201cElixir of Capricorn! Don\u2019t you remember his voice? And that pointy nose and pointy chin? It took me a few minutes but Hort\u2014Charlie Friendly was<\/em> Hiram Scalmo.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThen he was trying to poison the plants,\u201d said Hortensia.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThis has to go in my report,\u201d said Miles, who had finally pulled himself off the floor. \u201cDo you have any proof?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cNo,\u201d replied Bea, \u201cbut it makes sense. He knows Hort\u2019s research isn\u2019t going to be good news for his company.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cIn the meantime,\u201d said Miles, \u201cyou\u2019d better make sure your research and the rest of the plants are kept somewhere safe.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cI will,\u201d said Hortensia. She jiggled the knob on the laboratory door to reassure herself that it was secure. \u201cThis door can be locked.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHi!\u201d called a peppy member of the New Stirling University events committee, who was wearing a New Stirling University bright blue polo shirt. \u201cWe\u2019re putting up alumni weekend posters! Can we put one on your door?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cSure,\u201d answered Hortensia. \u201cTurns out we\u2019ll be keeping it shut anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cSuper!\u201d said the peppy young man. He unrolled a colorful poster, and sticky-tacked it to the lab door. <\/p>\n \n\tIt was a typical display of happy people and attractive buildings, designed to convince any undecided potential students that New Stirling University was the place to be.<\/p>\n \n\tBut it was a line emblazoned in white, at the bottom, that riveted Bea\u2019s eyes with a startling jolt.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cBean-Tek Industries,\u201d<\/em> it said, \u201cOfficial Sponsor of Alumni Weekend.\u201d<\/em> Followed by a very familiar, and by now a little scary, cartoon bean.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hortensia scowled suspiciously at the now-open circular glass compartment. \u201cThis can\u2019t be the only way in,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s the only way they\u2019re offering us,\u201d replied Bea. She took Hortensia by the hand and pulled her into the module. \u201cFeels sort of like being in a French press coffeepot, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d \u201cI like tea,\u201d said […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/342"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=342"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/342\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":396,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/342\/revisions\/396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}