Fay skipped the Cinnamon Rogers and ate eggs for breakfast. At school, she entered her classroom to find Barnaby Hootsman staring at her through the wrong end of a plastic spyglass.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cFay LaFarge!\u201d he hooted. \u201cYou\u2019re two inches tall!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cHootsman!\u201d she replied. \u201cYou should\u2019ve been a swabby!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cNow now, boys and girls,\u201d interrupted Miss Parsnip, giving the unmistakable hand signal that meant \u201ceveryone sit down.\u201d \u201cYesterday\u2019s field trip was so fraught with mishap that I never had the chance to tell you about my great-great-great Auntie Bonny Patty Parsnip!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cSwell,\u201d whispered Fay to Franny. \u201cI was so hoping she\u2019d gotten pirates out of her system by now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tMiss Parsnip caught Fay in a teacherly glare.
\n\t\u201cFay LaFarge,\u201d said Miss Parsnip. \u201cYou and Barnaby were the only children who saw the re-enactors\u2019 exhibit. What can you tell us about Bonny Patty?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cShe ran a store,\u201d Fay replied. \u201cWith her father.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cA useless store,\u201d cut in Barnaby. \u201cNo Pepsi, no trading cards, no atomic fireballs…\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tDonny Bing waved his hand above his head. \u201cHow many kinds of soup did they sell in the olden days?\u201d he asked. <\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cIt wasn\u2019t a soup store,\u201d replied Fay.<\/p>\n
\n\tJudy Fipple\u2019s hand shot up next. \u201cIt wouldn\u2019t have been a flower shop either,\u201d she said. \u201cCut flowers can only be safely transported and preserved using modern refrigeration.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cIf you ask me,\u201d said Barnaby, \u201cIt was a pickle store.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cIt was a general store,\u201d said Fay. \u201cUntil the pirates burned it down.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cYes,\u201d said Miss Parsnip with a nod. \u201cAccording to Parsnip family legend it was when Bonny Patty lost her store in a pirate raid, that she commandeered an abandoned ship and became a buccaneer herself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cThat\u2019s crazy,\u201d said Fay. \u201cDid she have a crew?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cAh yes,\u201d said Miss Parsnip with a strange and wistful sigh, \u201cshe acquired a crew…but at first there was only her paramour.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cPair of what?\u201d asked Barnaby.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cParamour,\u201d said Miss Parsnip. \u201cBoyfriend, lover, first mate…his name was Roger McCorley.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cMcCorley?\u201d said Fay with a choke. \u201cMore mass, go get garbage McCorley?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cIf he had a nickname like that,\u201d answered Miss Parsnip sternly, \u201cI was certainly unaware of it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cHow desperately romantic,\u201d enthused Judy Fipple. \u201cI hope they had a beautiful wedding…with flowers.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tBarnaby jumped out of his seat and danced a swooning jig, his hands preciously clasped. \u201cRomance, romance,\u201d <\/em>he sang. \u201cOh lovely romance!<\/em> Too bad it\u2019ll never happen to you Fay LaFarge.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cToo bad you\u2019re going to fall in the mud on your way home Hootsman,\u201d replied Fay.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cNow now,\u201d chided Miss Parsnip, \u201cyou two remind me of another part of Elbow Harbor pirate lore.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThe muddy part?\u201d asked Barnaby.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThe wicked part,\u201d responded Miss Parsnip, giving the \u201csettle down class\u201d hand signal. \u201cThe part about Bonny Patty\u2019s rivals on the high seas. The bloodthirsty Captain Yellow Tooth and his mysterious first mate, The Pink Scorpion.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThe Pink Scorpion,\u201d cooed Judy Fipple with obvious admiration.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMind you,\u201d said Miss Parsnip. \u201cShe was as cutthroat as they come. With those two on the loose, Bonny Patty defended harbor towns as often as she hunted treasure.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThe Pink Scorpion,\u201d said Fay with a knowing glance at Barnaby, who smirked in acknowledgment.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThere now, boys and girls,\u201d sighed Miss Parsnip. \u201cIt\u2019s been a lovely legend to share, but we must get on with our schoolwork…and I musn\u2019t be late tonight. I have a dinner date, at Chez Crispette.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMiss Parsnip!\u201d exclaimed Fay. \u201cWho are you going out with?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThat\u2019s for me to know,\u201d replied Miss Parsnip coyly. \u201cFractions everyone!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Fay skipped the Cinnamon Rogers and ate eggs for breakfast. At school, she entered her classroom to find Barnaby Hootsman staring at her through the wrong end of a plastic spyglass. \u201cFay LaFarge!\u201d he hooted. \u201cYou\u2019re two inches tall!\u201d \u201cHootsman!\u201d she replied. \u201cYou should\u2019ve been a swabby!\u201d \u201cNow now, boys and girls,\u201d interrupted Miss Parsnip, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/199"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=199"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/199\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":201,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/199\/revisions\/201"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=199"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=199"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=199"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}