Fay looked suspiciously at her fingers. <\/p>\n
\n\tMr. Arg was now completely blocking the only exit. \u201cLight fingers,\u201d he said with a frightening grin. \u201cThe sort what lift things that aren\u2019t theirs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cWhat?\u201d said Barnaby. \u201cLike pirate coins?\u201d He nodded his smirking face at Fay.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cOoooh…\u201d said Mr. Arg, \u201csounds familiar does it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cPirate coin?\u201d said Fay, backing up, and trying to sound as naive as she could, even though she\u2019d had a feeling from the moment that coin tumbled out of the Cinnamon Rogers Box that it wasn\u2019t supposed to be in there.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cHey guys?\u201d said Skipper, shaking Fay\u2019s arm. \u201cI think they\u2019re trying to get out of the basement!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tFay glanced at the basement door. Someone was jiggling the doorknob from the other side. \u201cMr. Arg,\u201d she said, \u201cany chance we could talk about this somewhere else? You really don\u2019t want to be here right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cBut I do,\u201d said Ms. Parsnip pushing her way in the front door. She squared off in front of Mr. Arg with her hands on her hips as he staggered back a step. \u201cI want to have this discussion right now! What were you thinking by subjecting schoolchildren to the dangerous conditions we experienced today?\u201d she demanded. \u201cI\u2019ve more than half a mind to report you to the proper authorities, but I thought you might like a chance to explain!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cShifty woman!\u201d exclaimed Mr. Arg. \u201cYou\u2019ve been follerin\u2019 me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cAnd it seems I\u2019m not the only one,\u201d replied Ms. Parsnip. <\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cHEY!\u201d bellowed Yellow Tooth from behind the basement door. \u201cWhat you bloody tryin\u2019 ta do? Lock us in?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cMISTER Arg!\u201d came the shrill voice of Mrs. Pink as she imperiously pushed her way past Ms. Parsnip. Mr. Green and Mr. Brown strode in behind her looking very grim. Mrs. Pink waved her mobile phone in Mr. Arg\u2019s face. \u201cI had my doubts when they put you in charge of Crunch & Barley. Oh, yes I did. But I held my tongue, and now look what\u2019s happened! I need only push ONE BUTTON to put me in touch with the fraud investigator! Do you or do you not have an explanation for the inventory deficiency?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cOPEN the blasted DOOR!\u201d screamed Yellow Tooth, his voice getting angrier. <\/p>\n
\n\tFay was on the verge of panic. Her spider web was going horribly wrong. \u201cMr. Arg!\u201d she said. \u201cThey\u2019re going to break down the…\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cDON\u2019T try to change the subject Missy!\u201d interrupted Mr. Arg.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cMr Arg!\u201d said the increasingly ruffled Miss Parsnip. \u201cYou are a public safety hazard!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cMr. Arg!\u201d warned Mrs. Pink. \u201cSee my finger? It\u2019s about to push a button!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cAAAARRRRRRG!\u201d<\/em> The basement door crashed onto the living room floor, its frame in splinters. \n\t\u201cSo it\u2019s ARRRG as is trying to lock us up, is it now?\u201d said Yellow Tooth in an oily voice, as he coolly drew his cutlass from its scabbard.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cI didn\u2019t lock you up you scurvy sack o\u2019cat litter, but I\u2019ll shake the hand of him what did!\u201d replied Mr. Arg.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHer,\u201d said Barnaby, pointing at Fay. \u201cHer what did.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tYellow Tooth fixed his beady gaze on Fay. \u201cWhy you backstabbin\u2019, mutineering, little piranha,\u201d he growled. \u201cMaybe you\u2019d be tasty spit-roasted!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tMiss Parsnip shook her finger at the pirates who were pushing and shoving their way out of the basement stairwell. \u201cYou don\u2019t work with children at all well,\u201d she said. \u201cI hope you don\u2019t think you\u2019ll be invited back for Pirate Day next year! You really can\u2019t control your behavior, can you?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tThere was jostling and grumbling from the rear of the pirate mob. \n\t\u201cYou can play with mine,\u201d offered Buttercup helpfully, \u201csoon as ol\u2019Yellow is done making mincemeat outa\u2019 Arg!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWhat say you booooyy?\u201d said Yellow Tooth, addressing Mr. Arg in what Fay took to be a most disrespectful manner. \u201cHave it out wif\u2019 me right here! Right here in this pretty room.\u201d He pointed his cutlass menacingly, and took a few practice swings at the air.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cYeller, you pit-faced blowfish,\u201d replied Mr. Arg, standing his ground with equal ferocity. \u201cI don\u2019t need to fight to win back me crew\u2019s loyalty!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tAn evil grin materialized on Yellow Tooth\u2019s face. \u201cYer\u2019 muvver was a cod\u2019s liver,\u201d he challenged.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cA what?\u201d demanded Mr. Arg.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cYa\u2019 heard me the first time,\u201d replied Yellow Tooth. \u201cA cod\u2019s liver. And she wore smelly stockings!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tFay barely saw Mr. Arg move, but in the space of a second he\u2019d sprung from the doorway to squarely in front of Yellow Tooth. His sword cut the air with a whoosh,<\/em> and crashed, in earsplitting ferocity, into Yellow Tooth\u2019s cutlass.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMe mum…\u201d said Mr. Arg. (CRASH!)<\/em><\/p>\n \n\t\u201cDid the laundry…\u201d(CLANG!)<\/em><\/p>\n \n\t\u201cEvery Tuesday…\u201d(WHAP!)<\/em><\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAnd her stockings…\u201d(BANG!)<\/em><\/p>\n \n\t\u201cSmelled (WHOOSH!)<\/em> like (CLANK!) <\/em>LAVENDER!\u201d (CRASH!)<\/em><\/p>\n \n\tThe kids, Miss Parsnip, and the Board of Directors backed away in horror, but the pirate mob was almost salivating. One moment it seemed that Arg had the upper hand. The next it seemed that Yellow Tooth would surely skewer him.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHEY!\u201d yelled Tilly who was trying to shrink but still couldn\u2019t hide her indignation. \u201cYou pug-uglies are dinging the walls! Mom hates dinged walls!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cDing waws!\u201d yelled Lynette. \u201cPug uggy!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tMr. Arg\u2019s sword sliced at what little hair there was on Yellow Tooth\u2019s head. \u201cYou,\u201d he charged, \u201care a yeller-bellied, pansy-faced, mutinous mud-sucker!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAnd YOU,\u201d cried Yellow Tooth with a mighty swing which knocked Mr. Arg\u2019s sword right out of his hand, \u201care a shish-kebab!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \n\tFay stared as Mr. Arg\u2019s sword crashed to the ground in what seemed like horrifying slow motion. She could not tear her eyes away from what she fully expected to be guts spilling on the living room floor.<\/p>\n \n\tYellow Tooth laughed, a horrible growly laugh, and he leveled his blade at Mr. Arg\u2019s throat. \u201cI\u2019m afraid there won\u2019t be no Davy Jones to welcome you back to the locker Arg. You want to be skewered fast or slow?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cNEITHER ONE!\u201d bellowed Mrs. Pink impatiently shoving the point of Yellow Tooth\u2019s cutlass away and stepping in front of Mr. Arg. \u201cMind your manners you blithering barbarian! You\u2019re not depriving me of the satisfaction! I\u2019ve been waiting a long time for this collar!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tA growl rose in Yellow Tooth\u2019s throat as he glowered at Mrs. Pink, and Fay fully expected the cutlass to do its bloody work on both Pink and Arg, but instead, he lowered his blade and the first crack of a grin glimmered on his lips. \u201cYou ain\u2019t no lady,\u201d said Yellow Tooth. The grin grew bigger. \u201cNo, you ain\u2019t no lady…yer\u2019 a scorpion!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tMrs. Pink looked at Yellow Tooth with a smile that seemed both coy and deadly. \u201cYes,\u201d she replied. \u201cA scorpion. About to make a sting.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAS AM I!\u201d roared Yellow Tooth, suddenly turning his attention, and cutlass toward Fay.<\/p>\n \n\tFay had never seen such a horrible leer, and backed away, almost falling over Barnaby.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHurry it up!\u201d hollered Hanky. \u201cWhack\u2019er head off! We wants ta\u2019 play wif\u2019 the Flippin\u2019 Eights in peace and quiet!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tAll that Fay could see beyond Yellow Tooth\u2019s beefy frame was the plastic cup, from the cereal box toy, which Hanky was waving in the air as he whined.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cBut Hanky!\u201d she yelled, playing the one desperate card she had left. \u201cYou lost your squidger!\u201d She dug into her pants pocket. The coin was still there.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMe squidger?\u201d whined Hanky. \u201cI lost me squidger?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cDon\u2019t worry!\u201d called Fay, pulling out the pirate coin. \u201cYou can have mine!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tFay wished, and hoped, and threw—like a girl. As the pirate coin sailed over Yellow Tooth\u2019s confused head, Fay grabbed Skipper by one arm, Barnaby by the other, and yanked them along to plow Tilly, Lynette, Miss Parsnip, and, quite by accident Mr. Arg, out the front door.<\/p>\n \n\tIn the split second before the screen door slammed shut, she hoped beyond hope that the \u201cplink\u201d <\/em>she heard was Mr. Arg\u2019s coin landing in Hanky\u2019s plastic cup, and the whooshing sound was a vortex that wouldn\u2019t take no for an answer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Fay looked suspiciously at her fingers. Mr. Arg was now completely blocking the only exit. \u201cLight fingers,\u201d he said with a frightening grin. \u201cThe sort what lift things that aren\u2019t theirs.\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d said Barnaby. \u201cLike pirate coins?\u201d He nodded his smirking face at Fay. \u201cOoooh…\u201d said Mr. Arg, \u201csounds familiar does it?\u201d \u201cPirate coin?\u201d said […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/196"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=196"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/196\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":198,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/196\/revisions\/198"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=196"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=196"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=196"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\tYellow Tooth loomed in the doorway, his ugly frame leaving only tiny spaces where Jimbo and Scratchy peered through, scowling.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cMe Flippin\u2019 Eights cup is busted!\u201d whined Hanky. \u201cLarko stepped on me Flippin\u2019 Eights cup!\u201d<\/p>\n