\u201cMiss Parsnip!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tIt was Judy Fipple calling from the end of the corridor. \u201dMiss Parsnip!\u201d repeated Judy. \u201cWe were completely unable to find you. For almost two hours!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cBarna-baby!\u201d cried Mr. Hootsman, holding out his pudgy arms for Barnaby.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cMiss Parsnip,\u201d said Donny Bing. \u201cI brought potato wedge soup. Would now be a good time to eat it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tMiss Parsnip looked rumpled and attempted to straighten her hair.
\n\t\u201cWhy don\u2019t you eat it at school?\u201d she replied distractedly. \u201cWe\u2019re going back to school. Right now. Are all my groups present? Cutthroats? Rogues? Peglegs? Swamis….slobbies…um…oh…just everyone? Let\u2019s move!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tFay fell quietly in line behind the relieved parents and students and considered Mr. Arg\u2019s warning. There were some rough characters on the loose, no question about that. But how much trouble could they possibly get into in modern day Elbow Harbor?<\/p>\n
\n\tWell,<\/em> Fay thought, at least I was wrong about the field trip to the Crunch & Barley Breakfast Factory. It wasn\u2019t quite as dull as dust after all.<\/em> And now she had the pirate coin bouncing in her pants pocket again. But it was time to go back to school. Back to boring Elbow Harbor Elementary.<\/p>\n \n\tMiss Parsnip led the way out of the factory toward Elbow Street. Normally boring Elbow Street, but now buzzing and hopping with activity. People were running in out out of buildings, and all three dedicated officers of the Elbow Harbor police force were hastily jotting notes in their police officer notebooks. <\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThey took daisies,\u201d whined Horace Fipple who was standing by the front door of Fipple\u2019s Floral in a green apron. \u201cAnd floral arrangement supplies! You can\u2019t just take supplies! All our arrangements are custom made by professionals!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThat\u2019s outrageous!\u201d exclaimed Judy Fipple, raising her hand in the air. \u201cMiss Parsnip, may we stop and assist the police in this investigation?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cChildren!\u201d replied Miss Parsnip with alarm in her voice. \u201cWe are not criminologists! We would surely be in the way! We will get back to school at once!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cBut Miss Parsnip!\u201d called Barnaby Hootsman. \u201cWe can identify the culprits!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d piped up the police lady who\u2019d been questioning Horace Fipple. She stared at Barnaby Hootsman. \u201cYou have information about these hoodlums?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMaybe,\u201d replied Barnaby. \u201cIs there a reward?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAtta\u2019baby,\u201d said Mr. Hootsman thumping Barnaby on the back. \u201cSock it to\u2019em.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMay I have your name,\u201d asked the lady cop, pointing her pencil at Barnaby.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHootsman,\u201d replied Barnaby in his best secret agent voice. \u201cBarnaby Hootsman.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAnd has anyone else witnessed suspicious characters in town, besides you?\u201d continued the cop.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWould I have to split the reward?\u201d asked Barnaby.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHootsman was with me,\u201d said Fay stepping around Judy Fipple. \u201cWe both saw \u2018em.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAnd you would be?\u201d asked the police lady.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cFay LaFarge,\u201d said Fay.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMa\u2019am,\u201d said the police lady to Miss Parsnip. \u201cWe\u2019d like to borrow these two students for now, so they can help us make sketches of the perpetrators.\u201d \n\t\u201cFay,\u201d asked Miss Parsnip, \u201cBarnaby? Are you all caught up on multiplying fractions?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cOne-third times one-fifth equals one-fifteenth,\u201d replied Fay.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThat goes double for me,\u201d added Barnaby.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cFine then,\u201d said Miss Parsnip. \u201cHurry back to school so you can copy down tonight\u2019s assignment.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cOkay kids,\u201d said the police lady, \u201cI\u2019m Officer Brambly. Would you say this gang has a leader?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cThat would be Yellow Tooth,\u201d said Fay. \u201cThe meanest, ugliest scoundrel you\u2019d ever care to lay two eyes on.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cIn your worst nightmare,\u201d added Barnaby.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAnd his teeth,\u201d continued Fay, \u201care yellow. And pointed like a row of daggers.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tThe timid little man nodded and sketched vigorously.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cNasty skin,\u201d continued Fay, \u201clooks like popped bubble wrap.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAnd body odor,\u201d said Barnaby, \u201cthat\u2019ll make you drop dead.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tThe little man stopped sketching. \u201cI don\u2019t think can draw that,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cSure you can,\u201d replied Fay grabbing his pencil. \u201cJust make some squiggly lines coming from him to show stink…like this.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAnd put a dead guy next to him,\u201d added Barnaby grabbing the pencil from Fay, \u201cwith x\u2019s for eyes…like this…\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cOh,\u201d said the little man, obviously pleased. \u201cOh yes, that does the trick.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tFay and Barnaby described the other twelve pirates in gruesome detail from their stubbly whiskers to their wrinkly tattoos, until it was clear the police artist was happy with his results.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cI don\u2019t want to go back to school for fractions,\u201d said Fay. \u201cBut if I don\u2019t take my lunchbox home tonight my locker will smell like old putrid tunafish.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cOooh,\u201d said Barnaby with an evil gleam in his eye. \u201cOld putrid tunafish! What if it accidentally gets loose in Judy Fipple\u2019s desk?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWhat if it doesn\u2019t?\u201d replied Fay tartly.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWhat if I get to school before you?\u201d challenged Barnaby, before taking off at a run.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWhat if it gets loose in your hair Hootsman?\u201d shouted Fay. Fay tore down Elbow Street after Barnaby, overtaking him at the edge of the schoolyard, where they both skidded to a halt.<\/p>\n \n\tFay stared at the playground. \u201cHootsman,\u201d she whispered. \u201cI think we\u2019re too late.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cMiss Parsnip!\u201d It was Judy Fipple calling from the end of the corridor. \u201dMiss Parsnip!\u201d repeated Judy. \u201cWe were completely unable to find you. For almost two hours!\u201d \u201cBarna-baby!\u201d cried Mr. Hootsman, holding out his pudgy arms for Barnaby. \u201cMiss Parsnip,\u201d said Donny Bing. \u201cI brought potato wedge soup. Would now be a good time […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/180"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=180"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/180\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":182,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/180\/revisions\/182"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=180"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=180"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=180"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\tBehind her, a timid little police artist with a clipboard nodded and waved his pencil.<\/p>\n