\u201cYour name is Patty Parsnip?\u201d Fay asked, looking at Barnaby to see if he was thinking what she was thinking.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cBonny Patty Parsnip?\u201d asked Barnaby.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cWell, if you say so,\u201d replied Patty with a grin, \u201cbut that\u2019s a little fresh for a boy your age.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cAnd you really think this is 1711?\u201d asked Fay.<\/p>\n
\n\t\tPatty nodded. \u201cLast I checked it was,\u201d she said.
\n\t\t\u201cAnd you really don\u2019t have a Pepsi?\u201d asked Barnaby.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cA whatsy?\u201d asked Joe Parsnip. \u201cDid you two just get off a boat from Shangree-la or somethin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cCan\u2019t be that,\u201d cut in Patty. \u201cHaven\u2019t been any new boats in this port since Captain Arg and his scurvy crew took up residence.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cCaptain Arg?\u201d asked Fay. \u201cMr. Arg is the captain of those pirates?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cYup,\u201d said Joe Parsnip. \u201cOl\u2019 Yellerwhiskers.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\tFay noticed Barnaby sizing up Patty with his usual stupid, trouble-making grin.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cBonny Patty Parsnip…aren\u2019t you supposed to be a pirate too?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cWhat boy?\u201d replied Patricia indignantly. \u201cFirst you\u2019re fresh, now I don\u2019t know what you\u2019re getting at!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cPlease,\u201d said Fay. \u201cIgnore Barnaby. You\u2019re obviously not a pirate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\tThe front door of the store squealed open and Mr. McCorley, the flavor-lab man stumbled into the room.
\n\t\t\u201cPirates!\u201d squawked McCorley looking around wildly. \u201cAnd I think they\u2019re real!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cOf course they\u2019re real,\u201d said Patty. \u201cI should know. They\u2019ve been disrespecting my store since they made berth in Elbow Harbor.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\tAgain the door squealed, and this time the scrawny cook with the bloody apron shuffled in.<\/p>\n
\n\t\tPatty put her hands on her hips. \u201cMr. Twicky!,\u201d she said. \u201cHave I not made myself perfectly clear? You have cleaned us out of basil and bay leaves! There are no more herbs until the boat comes from Boston!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cAin\u2019t ya got any tarragon?\u201d asked Mr. Twicky.<\/p>\n
\n\t\tPatty was quickly losing her patience. \u201cNo tarragon!,\u201d she said, vigorously stacking jars of assorted vegetables on a shelf. \u201cNo oregano. No rosemary. No parsley. We don\u2019t even have any cinnamon!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\tMr. Twicky began to twitch. \u201cThe boys is tired o\u2019plain chicken,\u201d he said. \u201cThey\u2019s tired of chicken soup, chicken fricassee, chicken pie, and fried chicken. They\u2019s tired of chicken!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cUm, duh?\u201d said Barnaby. \u201cFix something that\u2019s not chicken.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cAin\u2019t got nothin\u2019 left boy!,\u201d complained Mr. Twicky. \u201cExceptin\u2019 me Pappy\u2019s special hardtack…and they don\u2019t even want it!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cWhat do they want?\u201d asked Fay.<\/p>\n
\n\t\tThe answer came like the first rumble of thunder before a storm. \u201cWe want Rogers!\u201d yelled the unison voice of the mob of pirates which seemed to be coming from just outside the Parsnips\u2019 store.
\n\t\tSoon the rumble became a steady chant. \u201cJolly Rogers, Jolly Rogers, Jolly Rogers!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cThey sound pretty antsy,\u201d said Fay. \u201cDo you think they\u2019re dangerous?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\tPatty didn\u2019t look as calm as she was trying to sound. \t\t\t\u201cUsually that Captain Arg of theirs keeps things under control, but he\u2019s been gone a while and they\u2019re getting restless.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cMr…um, Captain Arg is back,\u201d said Fay reassuringly. \u201cHe came with us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\tBut the chanting was getting frighteningly loud.
\n\t\t\u201cJolly Rogers, Jolly Rogers, JOLLY ROGERS!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cMaybe we oughta\u2019 hide in the root cellar,\u201d suggested Joe Parsnip.<\/p>\n
\n\t\tBarnaby piped up. \u201cI\u2019m assuming you don\u2019t sell Jolly Rogers here?\u201d he asked hopefully.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cDon\u2019t know what it is, sonny boy,\u201d replied Joe Parsnip.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cIt\u2019s that crunchy stuff what the Cap\u2019n\u2019s been bringin\u2019 \u2018em,\u201d offered Mr. Twicky. \u201cAnd now they won\u2019t eat chicken. Or me Pappy\u2019s hardtack.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cBarnaby, \u201c whispered Fay. \u201cDid Arg have any cereal with him when we got here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cUh, I don\u2019t think so,\u201d replied Barnaby.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cJOLLY ROGERS, JOLLY ROGERS, JOLLY ROGERS…\u201d
\n\tThe chanting was louder, more insistent, and now it seemed to be right on the front porch. And this time the front door didn\u2019t open with a squeal. It exploded inward, popping right off its hinges, as an angry mob of pirates screaming \u201cJOLLY ROGERS\u201d gushed through the opening.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cYour name is Patty Parsnip?\u201d Fay asked, looking at Barnaby to see if he was thinking what she was thinking. \u201cBonny Patty Parsnip?\u201d asked Barnaby. \u201cWell, if you say so,\u201d replied Patty with a grin, \u201cbut that\u2019s a little fresh for a boy your age.\u201d \u201cAnd you really think this is 1711?\u201d asked Fay. Patty […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/161"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=161"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/161\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":162,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/161\/revisions\/162"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=161"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=161"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}