\u201cGot more mass?\u201d grunted the man looking up from the furnace. The room was swelteringly hot, and in one glance Fay could see why. The iron furnace, roughly the size and shape of a dishwasher, was so hot that the strange and unrecognizable markings that decorated it almost glowed.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cWhat?,\u201d asked Fay. \u201cWe\u2019re looking for a mop. I thought this was a broom closet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cI didn\u2019t think it was a closet,\u201d said Barnaby. \u201cThis place stinks. I don\u2019t think they ever clean around here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\tThe man\u2019s face was glistening, and the collar of his coveralls was wet with perspiration. He had evidently been working hard for some time, and he looked utterly discouraged.<\/p>\n
\n\t\u201cIt is a broom closet,\u201d said the man. \u201cWell, a utility room anyway.\u201d He slammed the cast iron door and turned toward Fay and Barnaby. The name-patch on his coveralls said \u201cMcCorley–Flavor Lab.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \n\t\u201cFlavor lab…\u201d said Fay, \u201cDo you work with my father, Lyle LaFarge?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHa,\u201d said McCorley ruefully, kicking at the corner of the hot furnace. \u201cI did. Then I opened my big mouth.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cJoin the club man, I do that all the time,\u201d said Barnaby with a grin. \u201cDid you get into trouble too?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cI\u2019m an idiot,\u201d replied McCorley. \u201cIt was nonsense. When I heard Arg say something about a \u201cspecial tunnel\u201d, I thought about wormholes and this stupid comic book I read about warping time. So I made a stupid crack that if he wanted a really special tunnel all he needed to do was condense enough mass. So he sticks me in this room and says, \u2018There ya\u2019 go McCorley, let\u2019s see how much stuff ye\u2019 can cram in there!\u2019 So now I know he\u2019s cracked.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMr. Arg?\u201d said Fay.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cYeah, Mr. Arg,\u201d answered McCorley. \u201cHe\u2019s a fruit loop if he really thinks I can make a wormhole.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWhat\u2019s a wormhole?\u201d whispered Barnaby.<\/p>\n \n\tFay shrugged.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cIt\u2019s fiction,\u201d said McCorley. \u201cIt\u2019s bad science fiction. Condense enough matter and you get a black hole. Preposterous–but at least I get paid vacations.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHey,\u201d said Barnaby. \u201cWe\u2019ll help you! Shoveling crud is our specialty!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tFay gave Barnaby a withering glare.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cSeriously,\u201d said Barnaby, \u201cIt\u2019s gotta be better than more of that lame tour!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tFor the second time that morning, Fay found herself in the awkward position of agreeing with Barnaby.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cOkay fine,\u201d she said, \u201clet\u2019s shovel…um…what kind of stuff are we looking for?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cBaby food flavored cereal,\u201d snickered Barnaby.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cOr you could jump in there Hootsman,\u201d said Fay.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cNaw,\u201d said McCorley. \u201cGarbage. Dust. Anything you find. Just bring it all back here. The more the better. We\u2019ve just got to make it look like I\u2019m trying.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAlriiiiight!\u201d said Barnaby taking off into the hallway. He ducked through an open doorway into a mail sorting room, followed closely by Fay.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cGarbage collection time!\u201d shouted Barnaby grabbing the nearest wastebasket.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWait,\u201d called a lady was feeding envelopes into a stamping machine, \u201cDon\u2019t forget the shreds!\u201d She tossed a fat garbage bag of shredded paper at Fay.<\/p>\n \n\t McCorley shrugged when Fay and Barnaby returned to the broom closet. \u201cOkay,\u201d he said with a chuckle and an eyeroll. \u201cNot much density there, but here goes.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t McCorley opened the cast iron door with an oven mitt. The glow from inside was so hot the air wobbled, and he shook the bag of shredded paper in the general direction of the opening. Fay fully expected most of it to scatter and hit the floor. But it didn\u2019t. There seemed to be something sucking the paper into the furnace, almost like a vacuum, and as it swirled through the opening McCorley tapped his foot and chanted, \u201cOoooh yeah…go baby go…ooooh yeah…go baby go…ooooooh…,\u201d<\/em> he trailed off and shook his head. \u201cIsn\u2019t this fun kids?\u201d said McCorley. \u201cNothing like getting paid to be a trash incinerator! Looks like we need more mass!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMr. McCorley?\u201d asked Fay. \u201cIsn\u2019t that thing going to fill up with ashes sooner or later?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tMcCorley looked back blankly. \u201cWell I guess,\u201d he said. \u201cBut as far as I can tell it\u2019s all still in there.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tBarnably shrugged. \u201cMore mass!\u201d he hollered, charging back into the hallway.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMore mass,\u201d repeated Fay, right behind him.<\/p>\n \n\tBy this time Fay had gotten into the spirit of things. She grabbed a mailcart from nextdoor, and by the time she got back to the broom closet with Barnaby at her heels, they had collected two bags of shredded paper, a bucket of cigarette butts, and three sacks of yesterday\u2019s smelly lunchroom trash.<\/p>\n \n \tMcCorley shoveled and chanted as Fay upended the cigarette butts near the furnace door, and they had a real dump and shovel rhythm going as Barnaby followed with the shredded paper. The lunchroom trash stunk like a dumpster as Fay and Barnaby each grabbed a bag and dumped.<\/p>\n \n\tFay\u2019s head felt light, and the room wobbly as the last tray of unfinished coleslaw disappeared into the opening.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cEww…my Dad\u2019s feet!\u201d she heard Barnaby yell. Fay just coughed and wobbled with the room as she heard McCorley\u2019s chant change to \u201coh geez…I think I got a vortex…oh geez…I think I got a vortex…oh geez…\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \n\tFay\u2019s head cleared. The room was quiet.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cNo vortex,\u201d said McCorley dejectedly. \u201cBut I got a headache. And a stack of bills I can\u2019t pay when Arg fires me.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tStomping feet clattered in the hallway. Feet stomping in heavy knee-high boots, followed by a lighter step, trotting to keep up.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cYe\u2019 shoulda\u2019 told me yer\u2019 varmints were troublemakers!\u201d shouted Mr. Arg from outside the door. \u201cRunning around me fact\u2019ry like they own the place, the scurvy critters!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cMr. Arg!\u201d retorted the voice of Miss Parsnip indignantly. \u201cMy students are very responsible! And dependable! It was you who sent them off to get lost!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tThe door flew open. Mr. Arg\u2019s glowering face fixed first on Fay then on McCorley.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHarborin\u2019 stowaways are we McCorley? And how \u2018bout me little tunnel…or wormy hole …or whatever then?\u201d demanded Mr. Arg.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cWith all due respect sir,\u201d answered McCorley, \u201cthere\u2019s not enough trash in Elbow Harbor…\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cChildren,\u201d cut in Miss Parsnip, \u201cit\u2019s time to rejoin the class.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cNot enough trash McCorley?\u201d shouted Mr. Arg, his face turning red. \u201cAnd I say yer\u2019 an incompetent boob!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cAnd I say,\u201d muttered Fay, suddenly remembering the squishy used diaper in her sweater pocket, \u201cyuck. Here\u2019s some more mass Mr. McCorley!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tShe gave the diaper a quick heave toward the open furnace door, grabbed Barnaby by the shirt collar, and turned to follow Miss Parsnip. But she couldn\u2019t move. Her feet refused to do as she wished. Nor could she move her arms. In fact, she had no choice at all but to be sucked backward toward the toward the center of the broom closet as Mr. Arg and Miss Parsnip stretched and spiraled toward her like wisps of smoke.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cGot more mass?\u201d grunted the man looking up from the furnace. The room was swelteringly hot, and in one glance Fay could see why. The iron furnace, roughly the size and shape of a dishwasher, was so hot that the strange and unrecognizable markings that decorated it almost glowed. \u201cWhat?,\u201d asked Fay. \u201cWe\u2019re looking for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=135"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":137,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135\/revisions\/137"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=135"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=135"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=135"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}