After an orderly march from Elbow Harbor Elementary, down Elbow Street, with a sharp right turn on Cargo Point Road, Miss Parsnip came to a halt in front of the Main entrance to the Crunch & Barley Breakfast Factory and blew several blasts on her sailor\u2019s whistle.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cAhoy!\u201d she said. \u201cAre all my groups on deck? Cutthroats, Rogues, Peglegs, Swabbies? All here? That\u2019s shipshape! Let\u2019s go in and see if our tourguide is ready for us!\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\tBut there, framed in the doorway as Miss Parsnip pulled it open, was Mrs. Pink, clicking a high heel on the floor in a rapid staccato beat.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cI\u2019m sorry to say, there won\u2019t be tours today,\u201d said Mrs. Pink, her tone clipped and snooty.<\/p>\n
\n\t\tMiss Parsnip looked understandably perplexed. \u201cThat can\u2019t be the case,\u201d she said. \u201cWe\u2019re officially signed up. All the proper phone calls were made.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cBe that as it may,\u201d replied Mrs. Pink, as if that settled the matter once and for all.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cOh,\u201d said Miss Parsnip, seeming uncertain about what she should do next. \u201cOh. I see.\u201d <\/p>\n
\n\t\tIntending to get the attention of her students and their chaperones, Miss Parsnip blew her whistle. Miss Parsnip was an excellent teacher who rarely forgot anything, but at this moment she did. She forgot that two toots meant \u201cattention,\u201d and three toots meant \u201cforward mateys.\u201d Miss Parsnip blew three toots. And before she could add four toots, (meaning \u201cchange of plans,\u201d) the twenty fifth-graders of Elbow Harbor Elementary poured through the doorway like water gushing from a broken dam.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cMr. Green!\u201d called Mrs. Pink irately as she tried not to get swept away in the tide of ten year olds. \u201cMr. Brown! This is a very poor day for a tour group, do you not agree?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cThar\u2019s NO SUCH THING as a poor day for tourin\u2019 on a vessel o\u2019mine!\u201d came a booming voice from the top of a short flight of stairs.<\/p>\n
\n\t\tMr. Arg strode toward the now very disorganized mob of students, and doffed his feathered hat.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cThat,\u201d whispered Fay to Franny, \u201cis my Dad\u2019s boss. Mr. Arg.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cAnd are the wee folk whisperin\u2019 because they want a mop,\u201d drawled Mr. Arg fixing his right eye on Fay, \u201cor are ya\u2019 so excited that the willies are eatin\u2019 holes in the part of yer head that knows manners?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cSorry sir,\u201d said Fay.<\/p>\n
\n\t\tFranny merely quivered.<\/p>\n
\n\t\t\u201cBut Mr. Arg,\u201d cut in Mrs. Pink, pushing Judy Fipple aside to confront him. \u201cOur meeting. Our important<\/em> meeting!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\t\u201cCAN\u2019T YA\u2019 SEE,\u201d began Mr. Arg in a roar that dwindled to a growl, \u201cthat I\u2019m showing me factory to a group of little children? Alrighty then, who\u2019s in charge here?\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\t\u201cI am,\u201d said Miss Parsnip stepping forward as Mrs. Pink stood gaping. \u201cI\u2019m the teacher, Arlene Parsnip.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\t\u201cYou\u2019re in charge?\u201d said Mr. Arg.<\/p>\n \n\t\t\u201cYes,\u201d said Miss Parsnip.<\/p>\n \n\t\t\u201cNo ma\u2019am,\u201d said Mr. Arg with a swagger and tip of his hat. \u201cThis here\u2019s my factory…and I\u2019M in charge.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\tFay had never seen Miss Parsnip blush so red before, and she tried not to giggle.<\/p>\n \n\t\t\u201cMR. ARG!\u201d said Mrs. Pink. \u201cI\u2019ll will be reporting this!\u201d<\/p>\n \n\t\t\u201cReport any bloody thing ya\u2019 want, scurvy wench,\u201d snarled Mr. Arg before turning to the school group. \u201cAnd now a tour,\u201d he said, \u201cthe likes o\u2019which you swabbies have never seen before.\u201d<\/p>\n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" After an orderly march from Elbow Harbor Elementary, down Elbow Street, with a sharp right turn on Cargo Point Road, Miss Parsnip came to a halt in front of the Main entrance to the Crunch & Barley Breakfast Factory and blew several blasts on her sailor\u2019s whistle. \u201cAhoy!\u201d she said. \u201cAre all my groups on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=120"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":122,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120\/revisions\/122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.emilygillespieclement.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}